If I haven’t made this explicit yet, my goal is not to wring every last penny out of deals. There are lots of things you can read for that. This is about getting more than enough and being happy. A wise man once told me, “I’ve given lots of people sweetheart deals. Somehow, I seem to keep ending up with more money than them.”
By “aim for second best” I really, truly mean get less than half. Make the other people involved richer than yourself. Deliver more value than you receive. Enjoy the value you are getting, but fall completely in love with the value you are generating for others; make that the reason to wake up in the morning. I find it more motivating than “more for me.”
Here is why:
- If a potential deal doesn’t generate enough value that I’d be perfectly happy with 40% of it, it’s just not a good enough opportunity. If I need 60% to make it worth my while it’s just going to end up contentious and no fun.
- We all have a natural cognitive bias that makes our own risks seem larger and the risks that others are assuming seem smaller. What seems to me like 40%, is probably objectively closer to 50%.
- When I’m in love with the value I’m generating for others, when the focus is there, I have an easier time communicating that value to them.
Obviously I can’t let things get too lopsided or that’s no fun, but in moderation, the short end of the stick just has more fun. Plus, it is a helpful corrective for my competitive inclinations.
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Eric's Blog 
In the mortgage business it is called “net tangible benefit.” Predatory lending was pervasive until very recently. Now it is illegal. Do you think this negotiation style could catch on in markets the government doesn’t regulate?
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